Reality's Daydream
by Simply Kim
Summary: What was Kikumaru Eiji to him really? Was he a friend? Was he an acquaintance? And most importantly... did he hate him?


TITLE: **Reality's Daydream**

AUTHOR: **Simply Kim**

FANDOM: **Tennis no Oujisama**

GENRE: **Shounen-Ai (Light angst This is me, remember? , light comedy, enough contemplations to last you a lifetime. Tough. XD)**

PAIRING/S: **Saeki Kojirou x Kikumaru Eiji**

DISCLAIMERS: **The series does not belong to me. Duh.**

NOTE: **Very light... indeed... hope you don't find it shallow... . Dedicated to all the SaekiKikumaru fans out there... most especially to one of my dearest friends, Chache. **

* * *

**REALITY'S DAYDREAM**

* * *

Saeki Kojirou had always been a realist.

What he saw, he believed. Unusual phenomena, unless proven, were products of an overactive imagination.

Ever since he was but a mere child, he had always been observant, and for that he was commended by almost everyone he knew. He was ahead of the other kids in a way... and he was so darn proud of it. Medals poured in bundles, recognition flying around him in clumps that sometimes suffocated him with all their potency. He never let them get through to his head. And for that, once again, he was revered.

His friendship with Fuji Syusuke did not change that even.

In fact, it worsened.

Maybe because Fuji was one of those who complemented him almost all the time... or maybe because he beat him in almost everything – except tennis. But then who could have beaten him anyway? No one was more superior to Fuji Syusuke when it comes to tennis. He was truly a genius.

And for that alone, choosing a talented friend, he was once again commended.

Yes, the weirdness of the world was clearly at its peak.

That was exactly why he did not study with Fuji in the first place. He was so tired of associating with the same people who obviously adored him to the point of gagging that he literally took the necessary steps to ensure his long-term sanity.

The checklist went on like this:

_1. Try to be pleasant even when I obviously am not feeling too pleasant._ **__**

**_2. Try to open communication lines with parents – they would understand_**

3. _If step 2 backfires, find friends to back you up._

4. _In order to get good friends, try to associate more with people not of your kind... start with the arrogant kids in the local public school. (Rokaku... Rokkaku?) _

_5. Hope that said kids wouldn't pummel me the moment I start a conversation with them._

6. _Explain situation to new friends. No more resorting to Syusuke. (He is a good liar, yes... but the payment for his services... ugh.)_

7. **_See step 2_**

8. _Get into the school where my new friends are studying. **Try not to stand out too much**.****_

9. _Pray to Kami-sama that I wouldn't regret my decision._

10. _**If step 9 doesn't work**...** just eat cake**.** It will make me feel better**._

Turned out, he didn't need to plan all the stuff after Step 2 after all. His parents were all for it. Very supportive in fact, that it made him feel a bit jittery... was there a catch in it?

No. There wasn't.

Observation number one suggested that big puppy eyes actually worked on his parents. He should use that more often... a very solid strategy indeed. Unfortunately he did not have the opportunity to use that again. Apparently, his parents were willing to give him everything he wanted. It was bizarre, he knew, but who was he to complain?

He had new toys every other month – that was what mattered then.

Saeki's weekly matches drew to a complete halt when he entered Rokkaku a year before elementary graduation. It was then that Fuji's presence became scarce. What he saw on his friend's face before they finally parted ways suggested restlessness. And darted looks towards his younger brother suggested that Yuuta was the problem.

The kid's rebellion stage came too early.

Insecurity had something important to do with it, he knew. It was too obvious from the way they interacted most of the time.

And apparently still, Yuuta's insecurities were Fuji's problem until now. For all his friend's genius, he was handling the sibling rivalry badly. He remembered him saying back when they were still playing together, that he and his brother would never have petty quarrels like the other kids... that they were too perfect for that to happen... that they share such strong bond that nothing could ever break it.

All kid's dream.

The more times he observed them, the more he knew that Fuji's words were not real... and he was right – as per usual. He shouldn't be proud of it, he knew, but he couldn't help the twinge of pride in his body that said 'I told you so' silently.

This type of realism emanated from him so much that even his teacher, the tennis club's Ouji-san, saw instantly and was immediately displeased. 'Fantasize once in a while, Kojirou-kun', he said one day after the day's club meeting.

Saeki, then a junior high freshman, just stared incredulously at the smiling older man. The sound of his sandpapering was irritating, but he weathered it. He respected him, and he was not going to tell him off over something so trivial.

_"Kojirou-kun, there is nothing wrong with delving into unrealistic fantasies sometimes... in fact, it brings hope... and inspiration to work harder than before just to obtain your goals – and maybe much more."_

_"But if I do that... wouldn't I become even more frustrated if those fantasies don't come true?"_

_"Ah, but you have to understand, Kojirou-kun... you will not become frustrated if you believe in your fantasies... and if you believe... all your fantasies will come true no matter what."_

Saeki did not understand then, but he decided to humour the old man and fantasized about a lot of stuff incomprehensible to most men... including having a pet cat when his mother was allergic to it. It was stupid, he knew, but little by little, he started adapting.

But he did not like it. He was doing it but he did not like it.

It was indeed true that fantasizing about having a cat was purely pleasing... he could pet it, feed it, nurture it... but he couldn't touch it... and it hurt. He wished that all his fantasies would come true... just like Ouji said before... and soon, without realising it, he was drowning in his fantasies again.

He dreamed that someone was easing all his pain away... he dreamed that he would be saved from the failures conceived from his recently evolved imagination... but time escaped from his hands... and soon – he stopped believing.

The sector of his mind devoted to that shut down. He concentrated on reality more. It was less painful that way. Amane once whined about him being too much of a realist... told him that he was boring using his usual joking phrases, earning him another bump on the head courtesy of Kurobane's tennis shoes.

_"Why do you keep doing that?"_

_"Doing what?"_

_"Being a complete spoilsport."_

_"Is there any point in this?"_

_"Yes. You are a spoilsport."_

_"Dabide, stop pestering Saeki just because he did not agree with your weird idea to give Kentarou-kun as a gift to the orphanage for the mother superior's birthday..."_

_"It was a good idea! After all, he is her favourite among all of us, so she should be given a chance to understand that we are more lovable that he is after hearing his ultra-loud voice twenty-four-seven!"_

_"It's not right, and you know it Dabide... even Bane-san would agree with me on that."_

_"Actually, he may have a point on that... it would be a good tactic, actually..."_

_"Bane-san!"_

_"See, Bane-san? Isn't Saeki a complete killjoy?"_

_"Umm..."_

_"He kills our joy! He is a killjoy!"_

_"That isn't even funny Dabide!"_

_"Come on you two, stop that. Bane-san, please stop kicking him on the head, his brain might get damaged..."_

Saeki admitted that he was sometimes a wet blanket – but based from his observations – not to mention experiences... it was futile. Dreaming was futile.

The next time he saw Fuji again changed all that. No, it wasn't Fuji himself... it was Fuji's new best friend. He was peculiar... eyes filled with such energy that it was all too invigorating... all too contagious. And the attraction was there. He felt it. It was a trivial feeling, one he did not even want to dwell much on – but annoyingly so, it kept pressing. And another sensation... a pinprick of something hateful was blossoming in his gut. Maybe it was because...

Kikumaru Eiji was everything he wasn't... and he envied him for that.

He wanted to beat him... but instead... he lost.

And the envy was becoming even greener inside his heart as time passed... darkening in fact, that it almost turned to hate. Almost... almost.

And then there was that night. That singular night that changed his days forever...

_"Ah! Saeki-san!"_

_"Kiku... maru...?"_

_"Un. What are you doing out this time of night?"_

_"What are **you** doing out this time of night?"_

_"Nya, you're mean...."_

_"I am not."_

_"You are! Come sit beside me! Let's have ice cream!"_

_"I'd rather no – oi, don't pull on my sleeve!"_

_"I have to, you're so stiff! Hard to budge! Wait... don't frown like that... I am not doing anything to you nya..."_

_"Are you mad at how our match ended up before the finals? I'm really sorry, but I had to do everything to win, nya... I'm sure you understand..."_

_"That's not it... Look, I have to go now..."_

_"Oh... if that's not the reason then... you do not like me very much, do you?"_

_"Please let go of my sleeve Kikumaru-san."_

_"Is it because we're too different? Does that bother you?"_

_"No. Please let go..."_

_"Saeki-san why do you act so different towards me when you're too open to Fuji?"_

_"Fuji is my friend."_

_"And I'm not?"_

For the first time in his life, Saeki Kojirou couldn't say one word – even that of protest. What was Kikumaru Eiji to him really? Was he a friend? Was he an acquaintance? And most importantly... did he hate him?

No... He did not hate him. He did not hate anyone. What he hated was the fact that he was everything Kikumaru was not. He was the ultimate pragmatist... while the other was the ultimate dreamer. He could see clearly through his bottomless pools of amethysts staring up at him almost always – like right then. Fantasies... Imagination...

Dreams.

Since then, he became restless... he could feel the gap inside his gut widen rapidly that he felt he was going to cave. He couldn't afford to become like Kikumaru, because if he did... if he did... the devastation would eat him for good. So what was he to do?

_"Maybe you should connect."_

_"Bane-san... forgive me for this, but I really do not understand a word you just said."_

_"I mean, you just said that you cannot afford to dream about stuff right?"_

_"Yes..."_

_"So, what I'm saying is that... you should connect. Spend more time with him until you synchronise... like what you did with Fuji-san when you were still the best of friends. His dream is your dream... your thoughts is prominent in his."_

_"You are two people with one mind. Get it?"_

Saeki understood. He knew it would take time to sort his emotions out... to figure everything.

And somehow...

_"Kojirou, what do you think? Can I do it?"_

_"One hundred percent... as long as you believe you can do it."_

_"Okay! Here I go! Ich, ni, san! WAH! I got it! I got a fish! I got a goldfish!_

_"See? I told you, you could do it."_

_"I've practised for days just to win that stuffed green cat! My dream of five years has finally come true! Nyaha! Arigatou nya!"_

Somehow they synchronised.

_"Kojirou... what do you think would happen to us in the future?"_

_"We will be successful people in our respective lines of work, that's for sure."_

_"Really? I'm dreaming of becoming a world-renowned tennis player! And I think that would be really great for both of us since you're working your way to your goal of becoming a businessperson... we can do stuff together!"_

_"**Ecchi** stuff most of all."_

_"Kojirou!"_

_"Ah, you may not be saying that aloud but you definitely are thinking it!"_

_"How would you know, nya?"_

_"You have that weird look in your eyes... and you're drooling."_

_"I am not!"_

_"Am too."_

_"Am not!"_

_"Too."_

_"Not!"_

_"I am not."_

_"I am too – eh... Eeeeeeh?"_

_"Gotcha!"_

**_"KOJIROU!"_**

They synchronised so well that in a way, they were both dreamers... and both realists. The impossible had finally been achieved.

They were one.

* * *

**OWARI**

* * *


End file.
